His Bags are packed...

This is like waiting for the calm before the storm. Wondering what the outcome will be..


Monday will be a day I get more information although the Army and all their infinate wisdom are lacking on what they feel the family members need to know.


On monday My husband gets his orders to go fight in Iraq. Monday I MAY get a actual leave date.





My worries are valid on one hand and totally irrational on the other. The sides of the arguments are well if you look at the grand scheme of things we have only lost under 4000 guys there in 4 years (breaks down to 1000 guys a year really not terrible) and statistically his chances of coming home alive are greater than that of him coming home in a box..


the other hand.. well given the technology the US Military has technically we should not be having any deaths.. 1 was too many and it showed how weak this military really is.. so it is just a matter of if it is their time to die or not.. *leave a warm fuzzy glow all about you doesn't it?*





Then there is my own personal issues.. HOW very selfish I am.. how stupid I am for worrying about this when there is no guarantee of anything. When there is Nathan... he is 7.. he is Haileys age.. as a matter of fact his mother Susan and I were on the same EC board when we were pregnant with our june babies *mine turned out to be yet another May baby* he is dying there is no promise of it changing.. And here I am worried about 15 months of not seeing Kevlar Helmet owner.. See I am a selfish peice of human..

Anyhow... we have spent the past 2 weeks together as a family and we have gone and done some family things.. we have gone to Flossenburg concentration camp... we have gone to Dachau concentration camp.. we have gone to the swimming pool a few times.. we have just spent time as a family. I will post pictures once I am back on MY computer.

Thus my blogger world is why I have been MIA for so long I have a very heavy heart.

~Cambria~