Some people are stupid and just Utterly disqust me!

Miscommunication amongst the Ranks.


The U.S. Army prides itself in how well they take care of one another, the family’s we create and bonds we make as we move from state to state town to town country to country. How as Family Readiness Groups we look out for one another as a spouse, we are one another support system should there be trouble, the first line a wife should go to should there be a issue to help get the resources and help she needs. This is a “family”.

During this time of war when we as spouses both enlisted and officer wives need one another there is miscommunication amongst the ranks. If a persons spouse dies and you know them the Higher enlisted and Officer Wives can tell you not to go to the woman’s house because it is “protocol”. I did not know when a person suffers such a tremendous shock and loss and upset to their lives there should ever be a “protocol” to follow. When the wives from your local FRG want to pay their respects and to check on the spouse and those whom are Colonels wives and Sergeant Major wives and First Sergeant wives have the power and authority to tell you, to dictate to you when and who can go to see the widow. I thought I was a wife, a mother, a familiar face, someone she knows on a basis of her husband is right along side my husband not a stranger, a nuisance. But when something is Tried and true who am I to complain I am no one, I am a lowly E-5’s wife I am a Sergeants wife. You know I didn’t think my husbands rank mattered I thought being a human being and offering a shoulder, an ear for a person to let her know the wives of the company her husband was a part of was a good thing. Maybe there is truth in the phrase the road to hell is paved with good intentions. The colonels wife who hangs up on enlisted soldiers wives her intentions were good because she did not want to hear what this person had to say. The first sergeants wife who wants to bully someone into conforming and doing what THEY want. When in fact it should be the widowed persons wishes as to whom they would like to see, whom they would like to offer support to them at this time, not the wishes of a Colonels wife and a First Sergeants wife.

I am appalled; disgusted that to be human you have to take a class; you have to have certification that you can tell a person I am sorry for your loss.


So for future reference to all of us who are too “stupid” to tell someone we know how sorry we are for the loss of a loved one. You do not have the certification and you will be breaking “protocol”. Ask your people what their protocol on saying I am sorry is, what requesting your FRG means. Find out if it means that the main FRG people will be there or your Troop/company/battalion FRG will be there so as not to step on toes and so that should you ever find yourself in this position you will know that requesting YOUR FRG care team could be people you know from here and there to people you know only as a Colonels wife, a Sergeant majors wife, a First Sergeants wife. That YOUR FRG care team may not be the FRG you have come to know come to love come to depend on and the wives who know you and your children and your husbands one way or another.

We are all human we all grieve in such tremendously different ways. Let the death of a loved one belong to those whose it is. The wife, the husband, the children, the mother, the father, the siblings, the grandparents, do not make their death your own.

Unless of course you are an Army Wife; make sure you have the proper certification before you act like a human being.

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I am not going to say I am perfect.. DAMN close but not perfe4ct *laugh laugh* But.. none the less.

What I heard from my husband as he was there I am sad and concerned and worried and thankful that he is alive I feel bad for the wife whose husband died.

In the past week.. I have been called passionate, emotional, A Liar, I have been hung up on, I have been asked the details of a horrific death, I have had to deal with my children, A husband who witnessed his platoon leader being blown up, I have been told kudos on one end and how dare you on another, told I broke protocal to there should never be a need for protocal.

I know where my faults are I know where my weaknesses are I know when I am wrong and I will admit and even apologize, but I also know where my stregths are and I wish to hell being human and compassionate and caring were still good things. As opposed to the things that make you passionate, emotional, a liar..

I am so done with this. I have had to tell person over person over person how I and another wife did not agree.. how a Colonels wife hung up on me how I yelled back at her and told her she is NOT my Mom and I am NOT in the army,

So This is the last mention of it because I bring this here where I am safe and protected to some degree from the outside world. And I leave this here. and in 6 months when I want a laugh I can come back and see how stupid I was to allow others to affect me in such a manner that i have issues sleeping and eating and I cry.. maybe it is hormonal and just part of being a woman!