the past few dys have just been so damn hard. plain and simple. I have been on the verge of tears for the past few days as well. So much going on. And so much i am forbidden to talk about at this time. So please bear with me.
I feel so so VERY selfish.. I am Sad.. I am hurt.. Finally after 3 years of stewing in being told well you know your dad blames you because his parole was denied. Umm HELLO ASSHOLE! I did not ruin your life you want to get technical YOU ruined mine! HOW DARE YOU! And I have been holding it in and stewing in it for 3 years. I think it is time for me to finally write the letter.
The baby is 1 now.. Not a baby really anymore. he is a walking talking tornado walking toddler!
Petes Ex wife wrote a rather nasty blog to which I had to reply and ask her if she really wants to air all the dirty laundry between us THAT publically. I was cordial and civil. And sometimes I really just want to be a raging bitch!
Then there is the other stuff and I am brought to tears just thinking about it how lame am I?
I am a selfish human. There is a little boy who is sick and from what I have read it is not a promising future. And I complain about small things.
I am sad plain and simple just sad. I am tired of being the ONLY person who maintains contact and conversation with family and friends. I am tired of the Its just too expensive for me to call you! HELLO have you looked at the Euro conversion rates lately?? Not exactly cheap for me to be the ONLY ONE IN 8 FUCKING MONTHS to have called people! And then the Ohh hey you know what call be back in 5 minutes umm hello.. I am calling you from Germany. UGH
I have a friend who keeps pushing me away and told me the other day well there is nothing you can do for me because you are not here. And even if you were there is nothing anyone can do for me! Way to make me feel good
I am just wondering how long does a person continue to put what everything they are into a relationship when all it feels like is take take take?
Like I said i am just sad. I came here to complain to cry because it is safe.
The baby finally got a real haircut he has gone from black hair to brownish reddish hair to a blondie!!!
I will have to take some pictures and post them soon.
Thank you for being here for me blogging world!
3 comments:
{{hugs}}
Some I can't relate to, some, ho boy I sure can relate to.
And don't spend a fraction of a second feeling guilty about your Dad. You're right, there.
((HUGS)) Moving is always tough add a new country and that makes things rough. Anyway, about your Dad... Do NOT feel bad... What he did was dead wrong and he should serve his time and get out on his own. I know that doesn't take your pain away, but just know that we agree with you! I would LOVE to call you... :)
(((HUGS))) and what they said.
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