I seem to have misplaced my parenting handbook.... Does anyone out there have a extra one I can borrow???
Girl Pants has decided that he does not want to go to Germany with us for the next 3 years .. His arguments are valid... Do you remember being 14 and JUST starting High School How terrified of it you were??
He wants to stay with his Biological father and his wife. will it be in his best interest? Yeah I am sure some good will come out of it. Will I be crushed? Well DUH Thats my baby! He has asked me not to cry in front of him, so I am trying my hardest not too.. to be a strong person.
And although this is something he is wanting I cannot help but feel like I have let him down I have failed him enough that he does not want to live with me anymore.
I pray I have the strength to do this. I never thought I would be that mom who allowed her child to leave them. *I Honestly thought we would be together forever none of the kids ill ever want to leave me* There are my dillusions of Granduer setting in.
Hubby has said he will back me and any decision I make.
the final decision is... He can go live with Bio Dad I will go get the necessary paperwork giving bio Dad temporary guardianship of Girl Pants for 3 years with the exclusions Girl Pants is allowed to come home to me when he wants if it is before the end of 3 years. Girl Pants is allowed to call me whenever he wants and also.. Girl Pants can come out and see me when he wants. I will miss Girl pants more than he knows..
I am exhausted .... tired of crying over it tired of being the bigger person. Can I throw my fit and scream and yell and say absolutely not not under any circumstances will you not go with me your mom your family.. Can I say you are mine?? and YOU HAVE to go with me?
I am sure I could but then how is that fair to him?
So In the end.....
My wish for You My son.. My Girl Pants whom I love...
Be safe.. enjoy life live it to its fullest. Love openly and freely .. love with all your heart and soul.. Know you are special and you always have a home with me. Most of all Love .. be open to be loved and be willing to give love. Smile when you see a sunset point it out to someone and share it.. Do the same with the rainbows and sunsets... and on nights you miss me know I miss you too but if you look out in the dark night see the moon>?? I am looking at it too.
Enjoy the beauty in life and all it has to offer you.
4 comments:
Oh sweetie, my heart has shattered for you.
I know as a parent the hardest part is letting go, but this much letting go is much too soon.
(((HUGS)))
Letting go is hard. Holding on is what we do automatically it's Motherly Instinct - and to go against that tie that was created is so Unbelievably Hard.
May he understand the love you are giving him.
Girlie.
Again I tell you, this is something I really admire about you.
Your family has so much obvious love in it that I think it can withstand this. Shore up, I think you're doing the right thing.
Hugs, Honey. You will get through this too. One thing I know about you is that you ARE incredibly strong.
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